With so many new and wonderful things in my life, it’s hard to pick a place to start. So I’m just going to start from where I left off. Or better yet, at my newest beginning.
Months ago, I made the difficult choice to walk away from a 5 year relationship that wasn’t going anywhere. After a lot of (a lot) of self-reflection, wine, and girl talk, I realized that it was the best thing I could have done for myself. Without getting too much into it, I realized that I had stayed simply because I was comfortable. Because I was afraid to give up the future that I had been planning basically since high school. Walking away from him wasn’t the hardest part (although admittedly, losing my third furbaby in the process probably was.) I was walking away from my plan that was the hardest part. But let me tell you… once I actually did it, and embraced it, it was the best thing I could have ever done.
I moved to a new part of town I had always wanted to live in and found a cute little duplex with a fenced-in backyard for my furbabies. I started hanging out with my girl friends more and reconnecting with people I hadn’t spoken to in a long time. I started trying things I had thought about doing, but hadn’t actually done yet. In short, I started doing things for me and only me, things that I wanted to do, and I allowed (and sometimes forced) myself to really discover who I am as an independent twenty four year old with no plans and an entire now unknown future ahead. It was scary and exhilarating… and totally worth it.
The best advice I can give anyone dealing with a new phase in life is to just embrace it, because you’re never going to get it back. You can’t – and probably shouldn’t – go back to the old life you were living, and you’re never going to be starting fresh at this point in your life ever again. Embrace the newness and the unknown of it. Embrace the ups and the downs, because there will be plenty of both. Embrace the discovery and pay attention to who you are at that time of your life. Things are going to keep changing, for better and worse, so just embrace the here and now.
Once I embraced my new life, and stopped living for the future I had planned, I noticed that I was finally happy. Really and truly happy down to my soul, for the first time in along time. And that’s all you can really ask for isn’t it? To just be happy.
Eventually, I started dating. Casually of course… the whole dating thing was an entirely new adventure for me (remember, that 5 year relationship started during high school. As much as we think we’re adults in high school… we all realize how not true that is when we become actual adults. And by actual adults, I mean paying bills and cleaning up after yourself in your own home). I learned very quickly that I don’t have the patience for most men, especially most of the ones around my age. Needless to say, my hopes and expectations weren’t high. And why would they be? I was happy with my new life that didn’t have a man in it… I wasn’t looking to mess it all up by adding one back in.
So, you can probably guess what happens next.
I ran into an old high school sweetheart. And by high school sweetheart, I mean we dated the summer I was 16. He convinced me to let him take me out one night. And I really do mean convinced, I was rather unsure about my desire to step back into the past. But I ended up letting him take me out (on a work night so I had a ready-made early escape plan if needed!) and we completely hit it off. I seriously cannot express how shocked I was, and admittedly still am, that it went so well. And basically the rest is history. Ohkay, not really, we’re still in the process of writing that history since it’s only been two months since we made things official. But you know what I mean. I promise to gush about him and my new amazing relationship soon, don’t worry.
The point I want to make is this: embrace the point of life that you are at right now, because you’re never going to get it back. You never know when things are going to change. Do the things you want to do because you want to do them. Do things for yourself, not for anyone else. Embrace the ups and the downs because they are all learning and discovery experiences. Try to always find the positive in every situation, and if you can’t then talk to someone who can… or who can at least make you smile. And always remember that the bad times never last… you never know when or where you will find happiness. Most likely, it’s just around the corner and all you have to do is get to it.