Friendships are Hard Now That We’re Adults

Alulthood Friendships QuoteIt’s funny how seemingly unrelated things align in a way that means something to only you, and only at that moment in time. Lately, I’ve been seeing this inspirational quote going around Facebook: “The older I get, the more selective
I am about who is in my tribe. I would rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies.” This has been something I’ve been thinking a lot about lately so seeing it go around social media seemed like a message just for me. (If I hadn’t been thinking about this already, I probably wouldn’t have taken notice of this unobtrusive image at all.)

I have always been a person to have just a few best friends rather than a larger network of kind-of friends. I’d much rather have four quarters in my wallet than one hundred pennies. But it feels like the older I get, the harder it is to maintain even those few friendships. Because life happens… and it happens differently for all of us. And while that concept is mind-blowing and beautiful, it also sucks. Especially when it comes to how easy hard  it is to maintain friendships as adults.

As a 24 year old with new college degree and an 8-5 career to go to every day, I consider myself lucky to have the very few close girl friends (two to be exact) that I still/now have. Many of my close friends in high school fell away in college. The few friends I had time to make between taking 15+ hours of classes and working multiple jobs weren’t long-term friendships, they were more of convenience friendships. You know who I’m talking about: the girl you’re really good friends with during business stats but as soon as the semester is over, you follow each other on Facebook, text a few times, and rarely interact again? So I consider myself incredibly lucky to have made a longterm friendship, and from work of all places, and have also managed to stay in touch with my oldest friend.

I remember when friends were literally your entire world. Friendships were easy to make, easy to break, and easy to make back up again. You saw each other every day at school and most days after school. You had sleepovers on the weekends. And laid by the pool together all summer. And then we graduated (either high school or college, take your pick) and everything changed. Bills and adult responsibilities take over, work schedules dictate everything you do, boyfriends become fiancés and kids start popping up. (Out?) Everything changes when you grow up, and no one knows this better than us millennial girls.

We also know by now that just about anything can happen in life. So the thing you can’t ignore or deny, easy as it may be sometimes as life gets in the way, is that we need our friendships. We need the people we can bitch about petty things to, get advice and perspective from, and have a drink or two (or three) with no judgement and a lot of laughs.

Adult Friendships Drink

Now that we’ve been unceremoniously thrust into being adults with seemingly no preparation, there is almost no such thing as ‘free time’ anymore. There just aren’t enough hours in the day to get everything done, especially with everything else we’re “supposed” to do as well, like cook healthy meals, exercise, and clean the house. The world spins faster every day, and time to relax, let loose, and be free just doesn’t exist anymore. So you can’t really blame me about being selective about who I spend what little free time I can (sometimes) find.

There are so many things we’re “supposed” to do now that it is literally impossible to do everything. But forever friendships are hard enough to come by being a selective adult, so the few we get to have deserve care and attention. I will change my after-work plans from going to the grocery store because I am out of coffee creamer and can’t have my morning coffee without it in a heartbeat if my best friend invites me at 4:50 to go get a margarita before heading home for the day because her plans changed last minute. Because sometimes adult friendships mean sacrifice. And hopefully they also mean margaritas.

2 thoughts on “Friendships are Hard Now That We’re Adults”

  1. Really enjoyed reading this. I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that growing apart from old friends is ok. I’m learning it’s definitely better to have a small group of dependable close friends rather than numerous meaningless friendships. Thanks for sharing!


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